Conversations with the Butterball Tee-Bee -- October 21, 2013

October 21, 2013

On today's episode of "Conversations with the Butterball Tee-Bee", we find the idiot owner off to catch the miniature warmblood. 

Rascal: (Walking up to meet me at the gate) "Yay! You're here! You're catching ME today, right? Right? RIGHT? Cause I counted and you caught HIM 4 times already and me ZERO." 

Me: "Yep, but first I'm bringing HIM in, then I'll come back for you."

Rascal: (Following me back down the field) "Wait..wait..ME FIRST! Wait..wait...I smell...do I smell?"

Me: "Wait your turn you pest." (Catches Crockett)

Rascal: "I smell something. In your pocket. Yay!"

Me: (Leads Crockett away)

Rascal: "Hey! Wait! You're catching ME! Here, I'm coming too. I don't need a halter. I"ll lead by your pocket."

Me: "Leave that pocket alone, my keys and phone are in it."

Rascal: (shoves Crockett with his butt) "You should leave him and catch me."

Me: "Yeah, yeah, yeah, wait your turn. Oh, wait, here, there's another halter at the gate. Let's just take you both together."

Me: (Gets lead ropes untangled)

Rascal: "YAY I'm caught I'm caught! Let go of him. How 'bout the pocket?"

Me: (Takes them thru gate and to the next gate.)

Rascal: "Oooooooh, this is unexplored territory. SCARY."

Me: "Ummm..you've gone through this gate every time you go in and out of this pasture. Which is at LEAST 5 times since you moved in it two weeks ago."

Rascal: "Pretty sure it's different today."

Me: "Pretty sure not."

Rascal: "Pretty sure OMIGOD GONNA DIE MOM SAVE ME."

Me: "KNOCK IT OFF. JUMP ON ME AND DIE."

Rascal: "Holy crap, you're scary."

Me: "Remember that."

Rascal: "Ok. Oooh, look, grass."

Me: "Oooh, look, ADD border collie horse."

Rascal: "Huh? Can't hear you over grass chewing. Hey, your pocket smells good."

Me: (Continues to lead them down the driveway)

Rascal: "Let me in the pocket woman!"

Me: "How the hell do you know there's something in the pocket? I never feed you out of my pocket."

Rascal: "I am thoroughbred. I KNOW. LET ME IN THE POCKET"

Me: "BUZZ OFF AND LEAD LIKE A NORMAL HORSE."

Rascal: "Can't. You've got the pipsqueak too. I don't share. gonna bolt."

Me: "Don't you dare. Do you want what's in this pocket or not?"

Rascal: "Fine. Leading. Pocket?"

They then proceeded to enter the barn door and lead down into the aisle very well, and Rascal lunged like a freaking superstar despite the ridiculous theatrics that were the first 50 feet of leading in the great wide open. I guess stud muffins in the pocket will not be a re-occuring incident, either, since someone has the nose of a bloodhound.